Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
