Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
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Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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