so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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