What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
