it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
3 2 1 whiskey
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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