he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
