It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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