So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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