I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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