They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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