I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
