so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
