i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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