Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
