what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
