I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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