I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
