i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
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Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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