I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
