You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
