They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize