and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
