wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
