just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
