I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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