dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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