im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize