So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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