that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
