I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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