Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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