I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize