Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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