im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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