So drunk, too bad you don't want this
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
