The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
