Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
