never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize