Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can I color on your dick again?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
