If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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