you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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