its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
