Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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