I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
