Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
