last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
