when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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