Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
