I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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