hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
