Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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