Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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