I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
