So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
