Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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