dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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