Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
